When I Grow Up, I Wanna Be

BEYONCE'S FOETUS - While you and I worry about where our next meal will come from, that baby is straight chilling with a martini on some "I'm rich biatch!" Honestly, I'd be the same way too if my mom's placenta was made up of platinum plaques, rainbows, Ace of Spade, a couple of Buggati's and blood diamonds. Imagine all the happy hours me and my mommy would spend perfecting the art of hair-tossing in stilettos and perfecting the booty-hop! Partner let me upgrade you!!! #Winning

Straight Chillin: Beyonce's baby!

A WRESTLER - You know the Lord loves you when your bosses encourage you to report for work...everyday...in tiny leopard print/ hot pink/green underpants, knee caps, a mullet and a scowl! Happy Days!!!!! Imagine working in an office where body slamming your colleagues or waving your crotch in their faces does not get you slapped with sexual harassment charges and is actually encouraged! Fun Times!

LOL! #ThatsAll

A VIDEO VIXEN - I just want to shake my a** for a living. On Mondays, Thursdays, public holidays and even on Christmas. I'm not going to lie. It looks really empowering! I bet there's no better feeling in the world than being objectified and getting PAID for it!! Apparently, the free sandwiches on set are to die for and the bikinis are as comfy as they look!

Objectify Away: Lola Luv

TREY SONGZ PERSONAL MANAGER - My scope of duties would include (and not be limited to...)

1. Helping him get out of his clothes and into the bathtub.
2. Scrubbing his back to ensure the boss is shiny enough to go shirtless on stage.
3. I would also monitor his gym visits to ensure he does all his squats, push ups and butt clenches.
4. Because I probably would be totally dedicated to my job, I'd also volunteer for a spot on his security team where I would religiously conduct routine 'pat downs' on his person to check for any concealed weaponry.  Safety First kids! :)

Yes PLEASE!!

- By Serengeti