IN DEPTH: Why Your BBM died!

Blackberries

So...the big news this week was BBM showing people their mothers! I am not a BB fan (#TeamiPhone whoop, whoop!), so I was one of billions across the globe who pulled exaggerated air-punches at the news. I know I am not the only one who is sick and tired of having conversations with myself at the dinner table, while my friends chat away, giggle and send each other porn on BBM. Too bad I got clocked over the head with a BB Curve...or was it a BB Bold...*shrugs* by one of my gal pals, who practically worships at the altar of BBM and pretty much idolises notorious Blackberry wielder/thrower Naomi Campbell. Psycho! Tltltl

 Anywho, after she threw her phone at me, I had to be a good friend and help her figure out why this had happened. (Right...Because I work for Nokia, neh? Mnxm). Before getting down to business, I spent roughly 7.5 to 8 seconds judging her for caring more about BBM than the crisis in Somalia. Being the smart girl I am (read: After being threatened with another beat down), I quickly figured it out and came up with two possible scenarios. The third came from my boyfriend (He’s a smart guy who reads books. Not ‘Mary Had a Little Lamb’) J

SCENARIO 1

I think Blackberry figured they had to come up with something huge to take the entire globe’s attention away from Steve Jobs’ passing. Afterall, everyone and I mean EVERYONE was talking about the guy...and with good reason. He was without a shadow of a doubt one of the greatest innovators of our time. He being in every media outlet gives the iPhone - BB's closest competitor - more Brand Leverage than ever before, which Blackberry does not want, of course! So, what did those geeks decide to do? Put BBM on ‘Shut Down Mode’ to get everyone talking and to shift focus away from Steve Jobs, pancreatic cancer and the iPhone. Heartless scumbags!

SCENARIO 2

A security guard at the Blackerry Headquarters accidentally peed on the BBM servers after having had a little too much to drink at the party Blackberry hosted to celebrate Steve Jobs’ death.

SCENARIO 3

My man reckons the CIA probably shut that ish down to access people’s personal info, as well as their private conversations - in the agencies continued efforts to fight global terrorism and crime. “Oh sh*t! I’m going to get arrested,” he jokes. Lol!

All these scenarios make perfect sense. However, I’ll put my money on Scenario 2, thank you very much.

My momma once told me “Baby! Never trust a drunken Blackberry security guard, who wants to pee”.

Well, you know what they say! Momma’s always right!

Steve Jobs... Rest peacefully in iCloud! God Speed!!!

RIP Steve Jobs!

-By SereNgeti